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Calendar

Sioziou Danae

Life is no more
the quiet river of time
but a bloodbath
I push my roots deeper
and I ask them to sing
the song of the earth


*


When they cut off one of my breasts
I washed the wound with mint
when they cut my second one
I washed the wound with basil
without a breast I ask for water
they give me vinegar


*


I can’t raise my arms
i can’t get up
i can’t lie down
to drink water to eat
to go to the toilet
to wash to talk
I can’t get dressed
i’m full of holes


*


Dad, the series is broken
we descend into the abyss together
Dad I hear a clarinet
i see ghosts
I’m putting you on oxygen
you give me the medicine


*


They don’t want me to think about dead girls
They want me to think about the living
But I want to sing about my dead girlfriends
I want to know their names


*


Three surgeries in a month and a half
I didn’t know there were so many drugs
I’m afraid of chemotherapy


*


I surrender my body to science
I’m being hospitalized again
I have the drugs through an artery
Straight to the heart
I’m trying to get through the stages
But my body no longer belongs to me
And she yells at me about the pain


*


At Easter when the infection was over
Two weeks of fever along with chemotherapy
(Do you know what it’s like to have no immunity?)
Arrhythmias, the heart hurts
The next twenty-four hours passed
With a finger of whiskey and (two cigarettes)
(doctors said ok a little/
above I knew)
Because the one I was waiting for
He did not come
Because he told me that everyone will leave me
And since I didn’t die
I say that for today I don’t even have cancer
I smoke and drink


*


I’m not afraid of death anymore
I will find Helen’s snuff box
Which lasted thirty days
and she was my friend for three


*


My dad on the phone tells me
that when I was little I was not afraid of the dark
and I was one of the few children on the playground
that when they fell and hit
even by bike
they would get up and carry on
without running to their parents
I think that’s how he says sorry
and I love you


*


Now I’m looking out the window
the light
I remember playing with the sun rays
maybe i can do without my eyelashes


*


Little by little I see
who are in a circle around me
and they remind me of how much I am loved
and they talk to me about how much I have loved


*


Slowly
I count the moments
I return
I’m learning to live with fear
I’m learning to live with the pain
I’m learning to live


*


These are not poems
I say it honestly

 

    [2022] 

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THE J. F. COSTOPOULOS FOUNDATION

©2015-2022 poets.gr |

Edited by Mania Meziti

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